Truth's Amusement
by TheWarriorpony
Summary: Instead of trading his alchemy, Ed makes a deal with the Truth. In exchange for his brother's body and various other things, Edward is sent to the world of Harry Potter with the Truth as his constant companion. There he will have to deal with the wonders of magic and school life. Set during the 4th book.
1. Prologue

**This is my first fanfiction. I´ve read many HPFMA crossovers, therefore I know most of the tropes and cliches that Play into it. I´m hoping to write a Story that avoids or subverts These tropes (with the exceptions of a few that, in my opinion, exist for a reason. I wated to say that I have a slight (tested and confirmed) problem with punctuation, though it´s not that big a deal. I hope you can see past my faults and enjoy the story anyway.**

**EDIT: I reuploded this chapter because I changed a few things about the prologue and thus the premise of this story. If you are one of the followers of this fanfiction, please re-read it because it does make a difference in the overall plot.**

* * *

**Prologue:**

Ed stood in front of the Gate once again.

After finally having defeated that monster that called itself „Father" , he had found a way to bring his precious brother back home. Determinedly, he faced the humanoid figure sitting before him.

"_So you´re here to get your brother back, but how will you take an entire human being with you? What about the toll? Will you offer your own body as payment?" _the Truth inquired, grinning mirthfully.

Edward ignored him and walked right passed the being, to stand directly at the Gate. He looked up at it and smiled

"The toll is right here, and it´s a big one too!"

"_The portal of Truth exists within all humans. It is what gives all people the potential to use alchemy. Will you really fall to the level of an ordinary human?"_

"Fall to their level? I´ve never been anything but an ordinary human. I´m nothing but a hopeless human being, who couldn´t even save one little girl who was turned into a chimera. " Edward retorted. "Ever since I saw this thing called truth, I got suckered in by its power. I got overconfident, making mistake after mistake. It was a wild ride alright."

"_Are you sure you can manage without it?"_

"Even without alchemy, I still have my friends" Ed grinned.

"_That´s the correct answer Mr. Al-che-mist! You´ve beaten me! Take him, ALL of him!"_

Edward prepared to clap for the last time in his life.

"_**But-"**_ The Truth continued.

"WHAT? There can´t be a goddamn ´but´! I calculated everything! Everything should work! What do you **want** now? **Another limb** perhaps?" Edward shouted.

"_No, not another limb, but I wish to propose a deal." _

"I am going to say ´no´! I finally want to get rid of your stupid ass! You´ve caused me too much trouble already!"

"_Are you sure? It´s a very good deal"_

"Argh! Fine, spit it out!"

"_I´m going to return your brother, don´t worry. But as you know, I also still have your teacher´s organs, your colonel´s eyesight and also your leg and your precious Daddy desperately needs some life energy."_

"You don´t intend to give all of that up this easily, do you? There has to be a catch!" Ed asked, eyeing the Truth suspiciously.

"_Well__**, you´re**__ not returning. Don´t get me wrong, you wouldn´t die and it´s only for a limited amount of time, because I would be sending you to another world."_

"There are other worlds? And why the fuck would you want to do that anyway"?

"_Of course there are! This is a door after all. And to why I might want to send there? It´s simple, really: You are incredibly amusing. You bring me so much entertainment. Watching you humans make the same mistakes over and over again gets incredibly boring after awhile, but you are special. You have returned so many times, that I am starting to think you actually like me"_ the Truth cooed.

"Oh, fuck off! I don´t like you at all. In fact, if I never see you again, it will be too soon."

"_You wound me. And I thought we had a bond" the Truth drawled, cackling loudly. "Anyway, it would only be for a year. There I would give you challenges. Every time you complete one, I would return one more thing to your loved ones. Then you may return to your own world. "_

_Speaking of bond, I´m sending a part of me with you, isn´t that great? It´s been so long since I had any interactions with people in the real world." _

"Fine, I´ll do it." Edward conceded.

"Great!"

Suddenly another Truth appeared behind him and before he could react, it walked into him, disappearing into his body. Ed´s body convulsed in pain and he felt the thing crawl into his mind, taking residence there. Images flashed before his eyes. All the knowledge in the world unfolded before him, splitting his head. But in the blink of an eye, it was gone again and he remembered only fragments. The only thing left were small shards, useless without context. The only thing he could say decisively was that not all of the images had been from his world.

Ed opened his eyes. He had shut them tightly due to the pain and noticed that he was lying on the white ´floor´. Ed tried to get up, but before he could recover, the Gate behind him opened and black, tentacle-like hands shot out and grabbed him. Knowing there was no escape, he let them drag him towards the darkness beyond the gateway.

"_I forgot to mention it, but there is magic in that world!"_ the Truth shouted after him, grinning like a madman. Though before Ed could process what the god-like being had said, the doors shut closed and he was flung into the void.

* * *

**I do hope that I´ll be able to update soon, but I too have to succumb to that which is called school. If you should feel so inclined, I would be very greatful if you wrote a review. Thank you so much for reading.**


	2. Chapter 1

**IMPORTANT: A few days ago I changed the prologue slightly and thus the premise of the story. If you have not seen the changes yet please re-read it. The changes do affect the overall plot and the prologue isn´t even a thousand words long, so do yourself a favour and read it again. Thank you.**

**So, I´ve finally finished the first chapter of my story. I hope you like. I also wanted to thank all of those that reviewed and followed my story. I really appreciate it.**

**BTW: ****Everything Ed says in his language are anagrams, so anybody who´s interested can try to piece them together, but everybody who doesn´t can simply read what he says in the authors notes down below.**

* * *

Chapter 1:

Kinsley Shacklebolt´s day had been mostly normal so far. He had just returned from a mission and was now heading towards his office.

As always, the Ministry of Magic was packed full of people and it was hard to move through the masses. Regardless, Kingsley was in a pretty good mood. The mission had been rather easy and he had no pressing matters to attend to. Most of the Aurors were out on missions so he had his department all to himself and he was looking forward to a quiet day.

Just as he had made his way through another part of the crowd and past the fountain of magical brethren, the room shook and a blinding light, coming from the ceiling, filled the entire hall. It hurt looking at it, bringing water to his eyes.

When the had light finally dissipated and he managed to blink the tears away, he lifted his head and saw a circle drawing itself onto the ceiling. Into the circle shapes and runes were added and when it seemed complete the light flared up again.

Though momentarily stunned, Kingsley immediately pulled his wand out, his instincts, gotten from years of working as an Auror, finally kicking in. He pointed his wand towards the circle, just as a line split through it. A humongous eye opened and peered down into the room. There something started to appear, constructing itself as it fell to the ground. It seemed to be a person and by the time it reached the floor the figure was fully formed.

Kingsley ran towards the intruder, his wand before him and a spell ready on his tongue. When he reached the figure, he saw it was a boy, unconscious and pretty much covered in blood. The boy looked peculiar. He had bright golden hair that was tied in a long, untidy braid. He was wearing a ripped tank top and dirty, leather pants. Kingsley also noticed that the boy was one of the most physically fit people he had ever seen. There was barely a part of him that wasn´t covered in muscles so it struck him as particularly odd that his right arm looked practically starved, with bits and pieces of metal sticking out of his bare shoulder.

KIngsley wasn´t the only one pointing his wand at the boy. When the circle started appearing, panic had erupted in the hall. Many of its occupants had started screaming, while the more battle hardened witches and wizards were instantly on alert. A few minutes later though, most people had gathered their wits and now all of them stood around the figure on the ground, watching for any signs of him waking up.

Being one of the most senior members of the Aurors, Kingsley made a decision, breaking the silence that had hung over the room:

"He isn´t showing any signs of waking up, but he might still be a threat. Stun him and then take him to St. Mungus! Whoever he may be, he is still severely injured. I´ll contact Fudge."

That said, Kingsley lowered his wand. He turned around and walked through the crowd of people towards the Ministers office.

* * *

When Kingsley Shacklebolt strode into his office, Cornelius Fudge had not known what to expect, but it had not been this. People falling from the ceiling in the middle of the entrance hall had happened before. Due to apparating accidents, there have been reports of about five such incidents in the last hundred years. This case was unique though. Reckless children messing with apparition was not a rarity, but what Shacklebolt reported sounded like highly dangerous magic, much too complicated for a boy of about 16 years.

This was worrisome. A child, too smart for his own good, was the cause for the last wizarding war and Fudge had to prevent anything from threatening the ministry and his own position of power. With this in mind, Fudge apparated to St. Mungus to judge the situation himself.

After finding out where the boy as located, he took the lift up to the 4th floor, the Spell Damage Wards.

When Cornelius reached his destination, he immediately went to seek out the boy´s attending Healer:

"Greetings, Healer!" Fudge called out when he found his target.

"Ah, I am honoured by your visit Minister Fudge. I was expecting somebody high up from the ministry, but this truly is a surprise. How can I help you, sir?" the healer, Augustus Pye as his nameplate read, asked.

"I was wondering if you could tell me everything you know about your patient. He has caused quite the stir in the ministry today and it is my duty to find out if he is potential threat to us."

"You can see him yourself, sir. He´s over there in this room" Pye said, pointing at a door. He walked towards it, expecting Fudge to follow.

In the room, the healer strode toward a particular bed. There the boy was lying. He looked just like Shacklebolt had described him. He had long golden hair, now unbound and strewn around his head and generally very muscular, though most of him was covered by a blanket.

"We have yet to identify him. There has been no one able to recognize him. His only personal affect is this pocket watch" the healer interrupted his observations.

Pye reached down to the little table next to the bed and picked up a silver watch, which looked battered and scratched, with small amounts of blood clinging to it here and there. But it also looked expensive, something to be treasured and polished. The watch was adorned with a crest of a dragon, maybe a family heirloom. It was beautiful, really, and Cornelius thought it was wasted on this, clearly careless boy.

"There´s no name on it, but on the backside it says ´Fullmetal Alchemist´ and the words ´_Don´t forget! October 3__rd__ 11`_ are carved into it on the inside."

_´Alchemist? How peculiar. As far as I know Nicolas Flamel is the only alchemist and he´s already dead. Maybe he did take on an apprentice..." _Fudge mused.

"Is there anything else?"

"Well, two things: we did a check earlier to assess possible magical damage. So we had to look at his eyes and they were yellow, almost like a werewolf´s, but brighter, almost golden. I´m sure he isn´t one though because we did multiple blood tests and the one for lycanthropy turned up negative. The eye colour is still strange though and I´ve never seen yellow eyes in a humanoid creature that wasn´t a werewolf." Pye explained.

As he said this, the Healer pried open the patients left eye to show Fudge that it was indeed an astonishing golden colour.

"But much more interesting is his left leg. It is made out of metal. I´ve never in my life come across a contraption like that. Neither in the wizarding world, nor in all my studies I´ve done in Muggle healing techniques." The healer took the blanket covering the boy and pulled it off his feet.

Fudge stared. A leg made completely out of metal was seemingly bolted right into what was left of the boy´s leg. It looked almost graceful and Cornelius too had never seen anything like it. If the boy was a wizard, why didn´t he simply have it grown back? Of course, it could have been cursed off just like Alaster Moody´s, but the retired Auror walked on a peg leg. If technology like this existed, even if it was Muggle technology, Moody would have gotten a replacement long ago.

"This really is astounding. What do you make off it?" Fudge replied, still looking at the prosthetic.

"I have no idea. We will probably have to ask him when he wakes up. It looks as if it was very painful to attach. In fact, it seems as if it is connected directly to the nerves inside the leg. This is a far more advanced prosthetic than anything I´ve ever seen in my life. You know what´s also curious? See those pieces of metal sticking out of his shoulder? They are made of the same alloy as the leg. We tried to remove some of them, but quite a few were embedded right inside the arm, as if the arm grew around them. The scars on his shoulders also indicate that he might have had another prosthetic, like the one on his leg, on his arm, but the arm was regrown with it still in place."

"Huh, how curious. Why would he do that?"

"I also noticed that he had no magical injuries whatsoever. He had flesh wounds, mild burns and many, many scrapes and bruises, but not a single magically inflicted wound."

"What you´re saying is, that he might as well be a Muggle?"

"It´s a possibility. He could have been involved with a magical experiment against his will, but I doubt that. There are no signs of magic on him at all. At this point it´s more likely that his grand entrance wasn´t even of magical nature"

"That´s impossible! If it wasn´t magical, what could it have been?" Fudge argued incredulously.

"Well, that´s all I can say. It´s a marvel to me as much as it is to you. What do you propose, Minister?" Pye inquired.

"I´m not quite sure, but I´ll contact Dumbledore. He knew Nicolas Flamel best." Cornelius sighed.

"Nicolas Flamel?"

"The only known alchemist, of our time. I would ask him myself, but he passed away recently" he explained. "Therefore, I´ll talk to Dumbledore, maybe he´ll know the boy. Do you have an owl I can use?"

"Yes we have, sir. On the 5th floor, next to the visitors lounge is a small owlery for public use."

"Thank you, Healer Pye. You were very helpful"

* * *

Dumbledore´s day had been mostly quiet so far. Recently he was always slightly preoccupied with the organization efforts for the Tri-Wizard Tournament, but overall, his holidays were very restful.

Suddenly an owl flew to his window, pecking at the glass. Dumbledore simply raised his wand to open the window in a careless fashion and the owl flew onto his desk. The old wizard pried the piece of parchment from the bird´s leg and gave it a small treat, dismissing it. Opening the envelope, Albus saw that the letter was from Fudge. He breathed a sigh, hoping it wasn´t some tedious request again. But as he began to read, his brow creased and his mouth pulled into a frown. He hadn´t heard of any student of Flamel´s or any other living alchemist, nor had he heard of any incident quite like this. This promised to be interesting.

Still clutching the letter, Dumbledore quickly got up from his chair and practically ran towards his fireplace. He quickly grabbed a handful of floopowder and threw it into the hearth. The flames flared up, turning green and curiously cold.

"St. Mungos – Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries" Albus said loudly and clearly, then stepped into the swirling flames.

Having done this many times before, Dumbledore was not fazed by the swirling mass of images he was assaulted with. When he had waited long enough, Albus stepped gracefully out of the St. Mungos visitors´ fireplace.

Taking the lift he went from the reception hall to the 5th floor, where he knew Fudge was waiting for him.

The Minister of magic sat on a table, obviously bored quite a bit, for he was playing with his hat. Dumbledore strode quietly toward the man.

"Greetings, Minister. I have received your letter."

Fudge shot up, surprised by Dumbledore´s arrival and flustered at being caught being so inattentive.

"Ah, yes. Of course... Please follow me Professor." the minister stammered.

He got up from where he was seated and stepped towards the lift.

When they arrived at the bedside of the person in question, Fudge turned to the attending Healer.

"Please Healer Pye, tell him what you told me."

* * *

Ed was sitting on a green hill in Resembool, talking to Al. It was so nice to just relax for once. The vast plains of green grass were just as he remembered them.

"I´m really glad I have my body back. Thank you so much brother" Al said, breaking the comfortable silence.

"I know. All of that really was something, wasn´t it?" Ed said, smiling contededly.

Al looked away from his brother and up at the sky. "Yeah, it might have been horrible not being able to feel anything, but we made so many great friends and we managed to stop Father. It really did work out in the end. I´m only kind of sad we couldn´t get your leg back brother." Al confided.

"I really don´t mind too much Al. I´ve gotten so used to it in the past few years and I´m pretty sure that my Automail limbs were responsible for keeping me alive more than a few times." Ed laughed heartily. "And Winry would be sad if she didn´t have something to work on. Otherwise it would just be regular ol´ me."

"Oh, I´m pretty sure that that isn´t the only thing Winry likes about you." his baby brother murmured.

"Hey what the hell are you implying?"

Suddenly the air around him changed. _"Oh nothing at all, Mr Al-che-mist."_ Truth´s mocking voice replied out of Al´s body. _"You didn´t forget me, did you?"_

"What the hell?" Ed exclaimed. "What are you doing here?"

"_Oh I´m just reminding you of our deal"_ Al´s face broke into a grin, one that didn´t fit onto his brother´s innocent face. _"You have your duties to fulfil__Edward Elric"_

"Oh, right. That…" Ed mumbled "What is it I have to do?"

"_Oh, not much at first. I´ll let you get used to the other world first"_ Truth said cheerfully.

"Okay…?" Ed said, questioningly.

Then, Ed´s eyes widened. His face twisted in concern.

"Al? What about Al?" he shouted frantically "Did you take him back? Is he safe? Does he know where I am? Did you tell him, or did you keep it from him like the bastard you are?"

"_Oh don´t worry. He´s all right and he knows, but he does miss his precious brother desperately."_

"Why didn´t I think of him sooner? What about the other´s, are they all right?"

"_Of course they are. You defeated that pest Father. I even saw him off personally. That was actually quite fun. Though I would think, it would be quite a shock for your friends when your brother came back without you"_ Truth teased.

"You really are a bastard, aren´t you?" Ed groaned, rolling his eyes. "By the way, what _did_ you mean with magic?"

"_Just what it sounds like. Magic, defying the laws of equivalent exchange and probably everything you believe in."_ the voice, coming out of Al, said mockingly. For a moment though it seemed as if Truth sounded just as displeased about it as the deity knew Ed would be, but it was gone just as soon as Ed had noticed.

Just then, Ed started to feel his conscience slip away.

"_Anyway, it is time to wake up my dear Alchemist. Have fun with your new adventure Edward Elric."_ he heard Truth whisper into his head, just before everything was gone and Edward opened his eyes.

* * *

"I see. That´s very interesting, Healer Pye. Thank you for telling me" Dumbledore murmured quietly. "I can see why you would be puzzled by this boy. I too have to admit that he is a complete mystery"

_`Though the feeling I get around him, it reminds me of something... If I could just remember what it was...`_ Albus thought to himself. _"It´s almost like...the diary, but after it was destroyed..."_

"But what do you propose we should do Professor" Fudge demanded, looking almost desperate.

"Well, it seems as if we will have to wait for to wake up" the old wizard sighed. This could take ages. Dumbledore sighed. Even though his injuries had been minor from a wizard´s standpoint, the bodily trauma must have been extensive.

But just in that moment Dumbledore heard a small cough coming from the bed. The old wizard turned around just as the boy´s eyes fluttered open and he let out a small sleepy moan.

"Good evening, my boy" Dumbledore greeted brightly.

The teen looked around the room, seemingly cataloguing his surroundings.

"Wear eh mi?" (1) The boy said in a language Dumbledore didn´t recognize.

"What did he say? You know most languages don´t you, Professor?" Fudge said, annoyed.

"I honestly don´t know what he said" the old man said, astonished. "I´m just as surprised as you are, Minister"

The boy looked confused as well, as if he didn´t expect to not understand English, then he looked annoyed and said something that sounded like cursing: "Dotard might nut! Roughnecking flaunt Gaea?" (2) Now he looked really angry, but his eyes weren´t focused on any of the other occupants of the room. Instead it looked as if he was thinking. The boy rolled his eyes in irritation before looking at Dumbledore again.

He pointed at himself and said "Edward Elric" then he pointed at Dumbledore, glaring expectantly at him, still scoling.

"Albus Dumbledore" the old wizard said and the boy snorted, trying to keep his laughter down.

"Titular ouch diss"(3), the boy, apparently Edward, said laughing.

Dumbledore just smiled indulgingly. He was used to people laughing at his name, especially teenagers.

Fudge on the other hand looked even more frustrated by now. "Cornelius Fudge, Minister of Magic" the man said proudly, calling the boy´s attention to him.

"Now tell us who you are and where you came from!" Fudge demanded.

"Insubordinations yeshivot outdid Toyoda Tutu."(4) Edward said with distain.

"I might not recognize the language, but a translation spell might" Albus suggested lightly. "Let me give it a try"

He pulled out his wand and pointed it at the boy and cast the spell.

"washout Baath watt?" (5) Edward said to Dumbledore, confused, then his concentration slipped again. He frowned to himself "Whim tact saga? Thinning ditty dado."(6) Then his expression changed into one of understanding before morphing into an amused one.

"He seems quite mad, talking to himself like that" Fudge murmured "Why didn´t your spell work?"

"I have no idea. The only explanation is that it didn´t recognize the language either, but that should be impossible. Since the creation of this spell, extensive work has been done to add all known languages to it. This doesn´t make any sense" Dumbledore marvelled. He was intrigued to say the least. This boy was a complete mystery and he wanted to unravel it. If he could get him to go to Hogwarts he could study him more thoroughly.

"I suggest letting him go to Hogwarts" Dumbledore said, turning to Fudge "This boy is rather intriguing and I intend to find out who he is and where came from. For that Hogwarts would be the ideal location. He would be out of your hair and I could keep an eye on him for you. He´s the right age anyway. What do you think, Minister?"

"I don´t know Dumbledore. Is it really safe to just let him roam free?" Fudge implored. "He is a complete unknown. He doesn´t speak our language, he might be a muggle and he seems mentally unstable. Are you sure we shouldn´t keep him here? He could be dangerous"

"I doubt he is a Muggle and I could use legilimency on him if that satisfies your curiosity"

"Fine, do as you wish" Fudge replied sourly.

Dumbledore turned toward the boy, who had closed his eyes during the men´s conversation, now lazing contentedly in his bed.

"Edward" Dumbledore called out and the moment the boy opened his curious golden eyes, the old wizard focused on them.

As soon as his legilimency came into effect, Dumbledore found himself in a white void, where he could see nothing else. He waited, but for a while nothing happened.

Suddenly an image popped up "Unhitches justest test?" (7) a grown man, cooing over the foto of a small girl, said lovingly, but the image was gone just as quickly as it had arrived. Again, he was left with nothing.

Then another image popped up of a woman with chestnut brown hair looking down at him happily and with adoration, but this too was gone immediately.

All sorts of images showed up, every time just for a few seconds: A black haired man, wearing something that looked like a military uniform, talking to him exasperatedly; an Asian looking boy with long black hair and a girl wearing a black, white and red mask sitting on a coach with many, many plates of food in front of them; a pretty blonde girl swinging a wrench at him and most prominently: a suit of armour with glowing red eyes seemed to be present in most of the flashes.

But there were also terrible ones: A glowing light, and in it a small boy disintegrating, right before his eyes; a huge green monster, decorated with many, many human faces, in a pool of blood; the black haired man from earlier standing behind a black, charcoaled corpse, looking sinister; the black haired Asian boy pressed down onto the floor convulsing in pain, and so many more.

Dumbledore had never in his life encountered a reaction to his legilimency quite like this before. It was as if the boy had amnesia, or something, decidedly not occlumency was blocking his entrance. All of these flashes told him barely anything and he was a clueless as before.

Just as he finally managed to piece some fragments together, Dumbledore found himself back in the hospital room. Rather confused as to why he was removed so suddenly from the boy´s head.

He still felt slightly disoriented when he heard Fudge ask:

"And, what did you see?"

Now Dumbledore was even more intrigued. He wanted to solve this puzzle, now even more so than before.

"Nothing, nothing at all, Minister. The boy has Amnesia and Hogwarts would be the best place to regain his memories especially for someone his age. I´m sure of it. Maybe he can make some friends there"

Fudge sighed "Fine, take him! As long as you keep him from becoming a problem, he´s all yours." The man declared, dismissing the problem from his mind, and then walked out of the room.

* * *

**AN:**

**Where am I?**

**(1) Damnit Truth! Another fucking language?**

**(2) That´s ridiculous! **

**(3) It´s obvious I don´t understand you, you idiot.**

**(4) What was that about?**

**(5) That was magic? It didn´t do anything.**

**(6) Isn´t she just the cutest?**

**Thanks for reading. I hope you enjoyed it.**


	3. Chapter 2

Truth's Amusement Chapter 2:

**I'm so, so sorry I didn't update sooner, but life (and a bit of laziness) got in between me and my writing progress. But here I am with the new chapter and I hope you'll enjoy it.**

**I also now have a beta-reader; the absolutely wonderful **_**Generation Alchemist. **_**She is also writing my second story on this account, **_**All Around and In Between, **_**with me. She has written one of my all time favourite fanfictions, **_**Puppet**_**, which gets way less traction than it deserves. So please check it out.**

**IMPORTANT: Ed is 17 in this story, or at least will be by the time the new school year starts. The promised day simply was a year later in this fanfiction as in the show. Ed just wandered around the country for a bit longer. Anybody who is reasonably familiar with the HP franchise can probably guess why I'm making this change. **

* * *

Al had been sitting in front of the Gate for far too long now. He could finally feel the fatigue pressing down on him, but here in Truth's realm he had barely anything to hold onto. No point of orientation. When he had been in the armour he could at least always concentrate on his surroundings, but here there was nothing. It was agonizing to sit around, just waiting for his brother to finally get him, but Al had faith. After all this time and all this effort, Al knew that Ed would unfailingly bring him back.

"_You seem to be getting bored,"_ Truth's voice suddenly filled the void, _"I would think that your brother would have already gotten you out of here, after that speech you gave me. He's not very fast is he?"_ the being laughed.

"Don't worry. It's only a matter of time until I can leave," Al asserted, glaring at the figure now standing before him.

"_Oh, you know Mr. Baby-Brother- Al-che-mist, you can actually already leave. Your brother gave me everything I could ever want from him."_

"Really, I can leave?" Al could feel a smile forming on his face, but it dropped immediately into a frown again, "But wait, what did you mean with 'everything I could want from him'? What did you take from him this time?" Alphonse shouted, "Haven't you taken enough already? If I can go home, why isn't he here now?"

"_He isn't dead, and he isn't missing any limbs," _it paused, "well_ not more than usually, he's just not coming home with you,"_ the god-like being grinned.

"**What? **What do you mean, he can't come home with me? We were just now reunited after so many months of separation and you, Monster, just took him away from me again! How could you?" Al could feel the tears welling up in his eyes, threatening to spill despite the dehydrated of his body.

"_You'll have him back in a year, he's just on a mission of sorts. I could just have taken his alchemy and been done with it, but that wouldn't have been any fun, now would it? _

"But why would he abandon me now? Why would he leave after all we've been through? What could you possibly have offered him that would make him leave by choice?"

"_Oh, just the chance to get back some more body parts, such as your colonel's eyes, for example. You know how he loves sacrifices, especially when they involve himself. He's such a dear little martyr, isn't he? It's kind of cute really, wouldn't you agree, my dear Alphonse?"_ Truth practically preened, "And before you ask- no, you can't go with him," It said before Al could get a word in.

"But where is my bro-"

"_You know what? You are boring," _Truth interrupted_, " Your brother is so much more fun, he's so easy to agitate. It's time for you to leave. Have fun with your body, Mr. Baby-Brother-Al-che-mist. I'll give your brother your regards."_

Just as it had said that, Truth disappeared and the Gate behind him opened with a loud groan. Al turned around just in time to see the eye opening. Almost being used to it, the Alchemist wasn't startled and just accepted being dragged into the Gate by the black tentacle arms.

He would see Ed again; he was sure of it. He just had to face all the others, waiting eagerly for their return and a year devoid of his brother.

* * *

He was frustrated, anybody in his situation would be. For about half an hour now, the old coot - Dumbledore was his name? - had tried to tell him something. Though without being able to tell him anything vocally, this whole thing had quickly dissolved into a poor game of charades, where one of the participants had seemingly infinite amounts of patience and the other had none.

"You could just tell me what he's saying, couldn't you, you heartless jerk," Ed mumbled under his breath.

"_Of course I could, but where would the fun be in that?" _The alchemist could practically hear the asshole smirk, _"After all, I'm just here to watch the spectacle"_

Ed just snorted, "Typical."

That seemed to catch the old guy's attention, though, because he stopped with his ridiculous sign language and stared at Ed contemplatively, before suddenly visibly lighting up. He pulled out his silly little wood stick and made a few complicated movements.

"Don't tell me, Magic again?" Ed said loudly, rolling his eyes, meant for both Truth and Dumbledore, even though he knew the man couldn't understand him.

That didn't seem to faze the man, who seemed to be some kind of warlock, as he just continued with what he was doing. Suddenly, a glowing, golden vapour slowly began rising from the tip of the stick and started forming into shapes. Ed couldn't help staring at it in wonder.

The first thing he recognized was a human shape that looked like himself. It had long hair in a braid and was, to his chagrin, not particularly tall. Next to him he saw Dumbledore forming with flowing robes, a silly hat, and a long beard. Both figures weren't particularly detailed, but they served their purpose well.

After they finished forming, they shrank down to the size of his palm, though both of them were still easily distinguishable. Next to them, a comparatively enormous building formed, which was soon recognisable as a huge castle.

"Hogwarts," Dumbledore said, pointing at the castle.

All of a sudden, the model zoomed in on one of the windows until it showed the interior of a room. There were many desks in rows, with one larger desk in the front. At each desk several human-shaped, but crude, forms were seated and a larger one was standing behind the front desk holding out one of those weird sticks.

So a school then, presumably for magic. Ed groaned internally. Apparently, they even taught this insult to nature to children. _"Yes they do,"_ Truth quipped happily, though Ed thought he heard a trace of something akin to anger for a second, but it was gone before he had properly registered it.

Ed's attention was drawn back to the projection when it zoomed out to the full castle again. The next thing that happened was that his and Dumbledore's figures started moving towards the castle entrance.

The old man wanted to take Ed to the school then. Interesting, though he was still very sceptical, which was, judging from Dumbledore's amused face, quite obvious. But when the projection zoomed in on the building one final time just to halt in an enormous library, with the Ed figure sitting at a desk reading, he couldn't help but visibly perk up and start grinning.

When Ed looked up at Dumbledore again, the man's eyes were practically sparkling with mirth and not a small hint of self-satisfaction. His lips were simply pulled into a kind smile, seemingly waiting for Ed to voice his approval.

"YES! Books! Just what I need," Ed almost shouted, nodding.

Dumbledore's smile widened just a bit at the alchemist's fervent answer, even though he couldn't understand a word, and flicked his stick once again. Suddenly, the castle vanished entirely and spherical bodies formed, which looked like the sun and the moon. They slowly started spinning around each other and every time the moon got higher than the sun, the room got a bit darker and grew lighter when the sun rose above the moon. This cycle repeated three times.

So Dumbledore was going to take Ed to this weird magic school castle, Hogwarts apparently, where he could use the library, in three days. That was alright, disregarding the fact that Ed would have to stay in the hospital for another three most likely excruciatingly boring days. But he would be able to live with that, as annoying as it was.

Ed nodded again and gave a thumbs up, hoping the gesture meant the same in this world. Though his worries were unfounded because Dumbledore simply continued smiling and then nodded back at Ed in acknowledgement, his eyes still sparkling. The old man flicked his stick a final time and the golden vapour vanished completely. Then he gave a small wave, turned around, and left the room.

"Sooo... Magic. Great," Ed said drily to the empty room, though the remark was obviously meant for the menace inside his head.

"_Yes, Mr. Al-che-mist. Magic._"

Though he would later always deny it, Ed had watched the entire magical spectacle with absolute fascination.

* * *

Three days later, after countless tests and endless prodding by the doctors and nurses, Ed was finally released and guided down to the reception hall where Dumbledore was already waiting for him, complete with a grandfatherly smile and a slightly creepy twinkle in his eyes.

"Do I really have toooooo?" Ed whined in head.

"_Do you have any other choice_?" Truth crooned obnoxiously.

"No, but I can complain to you all I want if I can't get rid of you instead, you bastard."

When Ed finally stood next to Dumbledore, the old man simply held out his elbow and looked at him expectantly. Ed only stared at him in disbelief. What the hell did the creep think he was doing? But Dumbledore just continued to smile beatifically and wiggled his arm a bit.

Ed just kept on glaring at Dumbledore. Was that guy for real? Did he seriously expect him to grasp his arm like some school girl on a date?

"_Just do it,"_ Truth interjected.

"And why the fuck should I do that?" Ed snapped back silently.

"_Just do it. Trust me. Just do it."_

"I repeat, why. The. Fuck. Should. I. Do. That?"

"_You'll see,"_ the asshole drawled.

"Okay, fine," Ed growled under his breath.

Hesitantly, Ed stretched out his arm towards the old geezer and grasped his arm lightly. Immediately, something tugged at his abdomen and it felt like his entire body was being compressed into a tube. He frantically clung to the arm offered to him; the seemingly only stable point in his vicinity, and closed his eyes in panic. A second later, when he opened them again, he stood out in the open at the edge of a forest.

"What the fuck was that?" he shouted at the man, whose arm he was still clinging to as he tried to find his footing, disoriented and nauseous nearly to the point of vomiting.

Dumbledore pulled out his magic-stick and conjured up his golden magic mist, which immediately formed into the same castle as before, as well as into a replica of his hospital room about a meter away from the castle. In the hospital room the Dumbledore and his own figure re-formed. Suddenly, with a pop, both figures vanished from the hospital room and reappeared next to the magic school castle.

Understanding flooded through Ed and his eyes grew wide.

"Seriously?" he whispered breathlessly, staring at the wizard in astonishment.

"_Yes. They call it apparition," _Truth added in an almost subdued way.

"Did you just give me _information_? Did I leave the real you behind in the hospital room? I would say good riddance."

"No, not yet. Besides, it's not like you can even use the information for anything," Truth answered, back to its usual smug self.

Finally being able to stand again without the worry of falling over, he focused on Dumbledore again, who then started walking. Ed followed the man in silence. They walked along a mud path inside a very dense forest until suddenly a huge building loomed ahead. He had never seen such a picture book example of a castle and it was magnificent. Surrounded by mountains and a lake, complete with towers and everything. Ed could only stare. He suddenly felt even shorter than usual... not that he ever was...

They continued walking until they reached an enormous gate that opened with seemingly... well, magical means. They crossed through and continued walking through awe-inspiring rooms and up one staircase after another. There were also paintings hanging all over the walls, and if he looked at one long enough they seemed to be moving. Suits of armour lined the hallways, sending a jolt of pain through him as they reminded him of Al. Sometimes he heard voices whispering along the corridors. Torches brightened the rooms. The entire castle was made of stone, but it was much warmer than it should be on first glance. Ed and the old man reached another imposing door that opened into easily the largest room he'd ever seen.

The school was grand; there was point in denying it. Ed couldn't help gazing in wonderment at the vastness of what seemed to be a dining hall as he trailed after the old wizard. The room was lined with four great tables parallel to each other, and one smaller table on higher ground and in a right angle to the other. Above him, where a ceiling was supposed to be, it seemingly opened up into the sky. This had to be another magical trick, because it was same temperature in here as everywhere else in the castle.

As much as he wanted to protest, and shout, and rage, how it negated everything he grew up with, and how it ridiculed his long and perilous journey, magic was real and the results were awesome in every sense of the word.

Sure, he could try being difficult, but there was no reason to go against the only people who could help him make sense of this absurd situation. Besides, Truth was a bastard, but Ed doubted it could go back on a deal, and this was for the benefit of his loved ones. So a year in magic hell it was.

After an absolutely delicious meal that had almost startled him to death when appeared out of thin air, he looked sideways to Dumbledore, who was seated a few seats away next to him on what he assumed was the teachers' table. The man had already finished his meal and was patiently waiting for Ed's ravenous hunger to be stilled- something that probably took a lot longer than the man had expected.

As soon as he saw that Ed had also finished, he got up and beckoned the alchemist to follow him with a hand wave. Ed obeyed and once again started trailing after the old wizard. He again walked through countless opulent corridors with Dumbledore until they reached a pretty nondescript door. Entering, he saw a room that was obviously used for medical purposes. There, a plump woman was bustling around throwing ingredients into what looked like a cauldron. She looked up, startled, before hurrying over to greet Dumbledore. The old man just chuckled and spoke good naturedly and then pointed at Ed. The elderly woman finally noticed him and looked him over with a critical eye before frowning and speaking to the old wizard disapprovingly.

Ed felt completely ridiculous just standing there while Dumbledore seemed to explain something to the woman, Ed occasionally hearing his own name being mentioned. When the old man was finished, the woman finally looked at Ed again and pointed at her chest, saying, "Poppy Pomfrey."

Though he knew that the woman, Poppy Pomfrey, already knew his name, Ed repeated her action, also stating his name.

Mrs. Pomfrey smiled at him gently before turning back to Dumbledore to say something that sounded like a determined affirmation to the wizard. She bustled over to Ed to look him over again, obviously used to injured people in her care.

When the matronly woman had finally finished her inspection she gave him a gentle nudge towards Dumbledore, who beckoned Ed to follow him again. Mrs. Pomfrey gave him one last warm smile before returning to her desk, which was cluttered with what looked like very obscure cooking ingredients.

Ed couldn't help but feel drawn to her. Her motherly demeanour reminded him too strongly of people he would miss dearly in the following year.

The next rooms Dumbledore took him to were apparently his, once again overly spacious, futuristic living quarters. They were furnished richly, with even a very large four poster bed covered by completely over-the-top purple curtains. In fact, the entire room was decorated in a mixture of dark purple and cream (1), giving the room a very posh but undoubtedly impressive atmosphere.

He couldn't say he didn't appreciative the warm and comfortable accommodations, but this opulent room felt like way too much after mostly sleeping on the hard ground the last few months while on the run from the military.

Sure, the hospital bed hadn't been a forest floor by any stretch of the imagination, but that didn't compare to this. Mildly uncomfortable, he walked towards the gargantuan bed and tested the mattress with his hand. Fuck, this thing was soft. He might change his mind about the ostentatious room simply at the thought of sleeping in this bed, covered by sheets that felt heavenly to the touch. Forget modesty, he wouldn't have to look at the decor while sleeping anyway.

The next thing he looked at was the bathroom. That too was way too big, but in this case he didn't really care. In the forest he could at least sleep basically everywhere, but a hot shower? No – That was a luxury he had missed dearly. This shower had multiple taps just waiting for him to try them out. He was almost giddy with anticipation. The automail ports would be especially grateful.

When he left the bathroom, Dumbledore was still standing at the door waiting for him patiently. The old man waved for him to follow and they were off into the depths of the huge castle once again.

* * *

Edward Elric was curious, Poppy Pomfrey concluded while she was waiting for him in the library. She had certainly been surprised when Albus had turned up in the medical wing with the boy in tow, asking her to teach him English. He had explained that he himself wouldn't have the time, and she was the only one even remotely capable spending time in Hogwarts during the school holidays. The only others were Filch, who couldn't stand children, Professor Binns, who was ill suited enough for his job already, the house elves, whose own English was more than questionable, and Hagrid, who was busy with his creatures and who was not the intellectual type in the first place. Even Irma (2) was on holiday.

She, on the other hand, was here to brew healing potions and had long periods of time where she had nothing to do but wait. She could just buy ready-made potions, but she always preferred to trust her own skills and judgement.

Poppy did feel a bit overwhelmed at the daunting task of teaching somebody a completely new language without the aid of any translation dictionaries, as apparently not even the translation spell could come up with something. Even Albus was at a loss about the boy. It was a sight to behold if she was honest, though it was also worrying.

Edward was generally very strange. He had the most golden eyes she had ever come across in a human. Werewolves also had golden eyes, but the boy's were brighter.

Dumbledore also told the nurse about his unusual entrance, and what the hospital had found out. Children at his age with a missing limb… She knew defects could happen at birth, but what the boy had to have gone through to replace his leg... What Albus described sounded like it had been bolted into his body and connected to his nerves. What a barbarian practice. It was obviously effective if his fluid movements were anything to go by, but on a person so young!

He was also uncommonly muscular. Poppy was aware that some people, more commonly Muggles, trained their bodies to the extreme, but in magical folk it was incredibly rare as most rely on their magic to protect them. Outside of quidditch players and the odd sports person here and there, most simply didn't bother. Which was a crying shame as it would benefit their health greatly.

If what the headmaster said was true, there was not a single trace of magic on the boy and that would indicate that he is a Muggle, but how did he enter Hogwarts so easily then? And why did he not react more strongly when they revealed themselves as people possessing magic?

When Poppy had made her inspection, Edward hadn't seemed scared, but rather as if he had been on edge. Like something could attack him at any time. The plain, thin clothes the hospital must have given him didn't do anything to conceal the lines of slight tension in his shoulders. She wondered what must have caused such a vigilant attitude in one so young.

Interrupting her pondering, Albus suddenly strode into the library, again with Edward trailing after him. She ceased her thought and focused on him. He still seemed tense, but at the sight of the massive library his eyes widened and a grin bloomed on his face. He looked like he wanted to do nothing more than just read his way through the entire book collection.

Albus obviously saw this as well as he watched Edward with a very self satisfied smile and the ever-present sparkle in his eyes.

"Hello Poppy! I am very pleased that you accepted my request. I would not be sure who to go to otherwise and with my constant stress I simply wouldn't have the time to look for a private tutor," The headmaster said jovially.

"It's no problem. The batch of potions I'm working on right now have long waiting times in between anyway and a distraction will do me good," Poppy answered kindly.

"It would be best if you started immediately. I have quite a few questions for him and I would like to see them answered as soon as possible. Also, it must be incredibly frustrating not being able to communicate with anyone. Please make sure he at least grasps the basics. It's not like he has to read Shakespeare," Albus laughed at his own joke.

"Yes we'll start right now. No point in delaying it, I think"

They both turned to look at Edward just to find that he wasn't where he had been just a minute earlier. They looked around just to find him wandering around the shelves, practically giddy at the apparent anticipation of being able to read the books.

That just made Albus chuckle again.

"The library is what convinced him to come to Hogwarts in the first place," he said before shouting, "Edward!"

The boy didn't look up having picked up a book, staring at the pages with concentration even though he couldn't read them.

"Edward," Albus said again loudly.

Still he didn't react, but he did mumble something quietly to himself before his face twisted into a frown and he muttered a bit louder in an angry tone.

Not seeming perturbed, the headmaster walked up to him to tap his shoulder and say his name once more. The boy just batted vaguely in his general direction without looking up from the book.

Albus just seemed to find this incredibly amusing and he shook Edward's shoulder a bit harder. That seemed to startle the adolescent though, as he immediately jumped away from Dumbledore to look around, standing in a combat pose, ready to lash out.

When he realized who it was that was standing before him, he relaxed and said, "Thous I Yo." (3)

Albus just pointed at the book and then at his mouth, making vague speaking motions, and then at Poppy. Edward obviously quickly realized what had been said because his grin brightened again and he nodded enthusiastically.

"Cahad sheenier ipon kitts as Abentee utter Thugg lop." (4)

They quickly sat down at a table and the headmaster conjured a stack of books evidently meant for the purpose of teaching the boy. Poppy wasn't surprised. The wizard must have collected them in advance, but Edward on the other hand tensed considerably and his mouth twisted into frown while his eyes showed just a hint of fury at the action.

She had thought that Edward wasn't phased by the thought of magic.

His attention focused inwardly again, not paying them any mind, his expression turning even stormier. He quickly refocused on them again, but his face didn't change.

Regardless of the boy's reaction though, Albus got up calmly.

"I'll be leaving the two of you alone, I'm sure you are more than capable of teaching him. Goodbye and have fun," he said with a wave of his hand before turning around to go.

"Goodbye, Albus," Poppy answered at the same time as Edward also muttered something dismissive noncommittally.

She turned to the boy who had now focused his intense gaze at her expectantly.

"So, let's start then," the nurse said cheerily.

Poppy began by teaching him basic phrases such as 'Hello', 'Thank you', 'You're welcome', 'My name is Edward Elric', and also the personal pronouns. Next she taught him the alphabet, what each letter looked like and how to pronounce it. Then she looked through the stack of books Albus had given her and found one that contained a lot of small pictures with the names of the object depicted written underneath. Poppy went through the book with him, showing him how to pronounce each word. About halfway through the book he started trying himself, impressing her by quickly picking up how to pronounce most words, only having to be corrected a few times. Soon he was able to remember many of the words depicted in the book.

Using the words the book used, she started writing down simple sentences and gave them to Edward to translate, and thus showing him simple sentence structure and grammar. He still had quite the problem pronouncing many of the words, but he was obviously a fast learner and picked it up quickly.

Not shortly after that, they started having very simple conversations only consisting of very basic small talk. Then she gave him very simple children's books to read out loud to her.

Edward seemed very eager to learn the language, almost desperate, so Poppy did her best to be a good teacher to him. It seemed to work very well, because he picked up English astonishingly quickly. This progress spanned across several days of course, but still– the way he practically absorbed the information was most definitely a sight to see.

Any time Poppy wasn't working on her potions she spent time in the library trying to teach Edward, who never seemed to leave the place. He was always there when she came to him and never made any indication of leaving either. He was always engrossed in a book, even though he probably wouldn't be able to read most of them, or mumbling quietly to himself, and he sometimes even shouted angrily at nobody. She was pretty sure the House Elves brought him food because she never saw him eating in the Great Hall.

Thoroughly convinced this was unhealthy, Poppy dragged Ed – a name the boy quickly insisted she call him early on – out on a proper tour of the caste and it's grounds. Though he at first seemed reluctant to leave the place, he quickly became curious and asked her about different things around the castle, asking her to name them. He was particularly insistent at wanting to know the word for armour, though she had no idea why.

Finally, she took him to the castle grounds because children need to spend time outside and Ed probably hadn't seen the sun in numerous days. He too seemed to relax just a bit more outside in the summer sun as it was a beautiful day outside. He looked around with a slightly forlorn expression, but he did stretch with a mighty yawn. His blonde hair was rather dishevelled after days of being holed up. He wasn't exactly unwashed, but he did look rather unkempt.

She had become rather fond of him these past few weeks. Sure, he was strange and slightly mad and easy to irritate, but he was also intelligent, enthusiastic, and at times he even seemed a bit otherworldly. It was everything from the strange prosthetic to his unidentifiable language and his highly unusual eyes.

They walked around the castle grounds, first through the court yard then to the shore of the Great Lake. Ed walked like he was itching to get some excess energy out of his system, but just hadn't noticed it before. Almost as if he wanted to punch something.

Next they walked past the Quidditch Pitch, which again peaked his curiosity.

"What is this?" he asked in stilted-sounding English, pointing at the pitch.

"This is the Quidditch Pitch. A place where we play the game Quidditch."

"Why rings so high?" Ed inquired, now pointing at the goal hoops on the pitch.

"Because we play on flying brooms and we shoot a ball called the Quaffle through the hoops; the hoops are the rings," she loved that they were on the subject of Quidditch. As a former Quidditch player in her youth, she adored the subject. Though now as a nurse more conscious about the potential injuries- as more than one careless student had ended up in her ward because of it-, she still supported the Harpies enthusiastically.

"What are brooms?"

"Brooms are objects you use to clean the floor," she answered, imitating the motion of sweeping.

Ed's eyes widened at her explanation, "You use Brooms for fly?" he paused, before realization dawned on his face: "...you fly?"

"I think I will have to show you. Explaining this is much too difficult," she concluded, silently preening on the inside at the opportunity.

* * *

Ed had spent the last few days in the library combing through myriads of books, most of which he couldn't even begin to decipher, though he was pretty sure he was doing pretty well with the language. Studying had always come easy to him and language was nothing if not information for him to absorb. He still had a rather small vocabulary and his spoken sentences were of... limited grammatical correctness, but he was getting along fine.

Truth had been a complete pain in the ass throughout the whole ordeal, so he snaked back as hard as he possibly could at every opportunity. He had to hold himself back quite a few times from breaking out into a loud rant during one of his study sessions with Mrs. Pomfrey. She probably already thought he was insane, but he didn't really have to add to it.

He liked Mrs. Pomfrey. She was stern, practical and efficient but also kind and motherly and patient. She obviously had her own work to do and he was beyond grateful that she taught him so readily. It also helped that he was constantly surrounded by books.

As soon as he was able to read basic sentences and understand some words, he started browsing through books, trying to expand his rapidly growing knowledge of the language. This way he also learned about this world, or rather the magical world.

If he was completely honest with himself (and consequently with Truth), he was fascinated by the strangeness of it all. He tried reading about the culture and not just the magic and it was astonishing just how different it was; not only in their customs, but also in their thinking.

Some texts he found on every-day life casually mentioned things he had to fight for in the past, and didn't know about others that were completely ordinary to him.

He also noticed that magical folk tended to be just a teensy tiny bit racist. Note the sarcasm. He had found out that there were also people who did not possess magic, called Muggles. And the rare mention of them was almost always negative. Of course, he didn't know much about the world outside of Hogwarts, but this superior attitude reminded him of homunculi, who had also treated humans as if they were unintelligent insects- fodder that was only good for something if it furthered their own twisted agendas. And they had been wrong. Humanity had come out on top in the end and from what little he could gather from the texts he could read, Muggles would win out as well in the end simply by the advantage of numbers.

Regardless, he had come across fascinating, insulting, but also completely ridiculous things in his search for knowledge, but this...this had to take the cake.

Quidditch was the most confusing, convoluted thing he had ever seen. Not only did they play on fucking flying cleaning utensils, but the game was so complicated he could hardly follow neither the explanation Mrs. Pomfrey had tried to give him, nor the magically projected game play from a magazine. She had tried over and over again, obviously highly enthusiastic about the topic, until he a had a basic outline of the rules in his head. She mentioned her own playing days and some upcoming worldwide tournament (which frankly boggled his mind. Worldwide! He could hardly go to a neighbouring country in his own world, let alone the entire planet) that was apparently being held in this country. (Great Britain as he had found out.)

Now that he knew how to play the game, he changed his mind. This was not only ridiculous, but also stupid. Not only was it highly dangerous, but the rules made no sense! A ball that could get you 150 points in one swoop? Why not just set up a time limit as a way to end the game, instead of letting the game continue potentially forever.

"_I have to agree for once, Mr. Al-che-mist. The rules to Quidditch are rather silly,_" Truth affirmed with a sly undertone Ed couldn't help but be wary of.

"_And in light of this, I think I have found the first of the tasks."_

"Oh really? I bet it's completely fucking deranged, like the rest of you," Ed grumbled, now used to Truth's constant quipping and nagging and taunting. However, he couldn't help but to perk up slightly at the mentioning of the first task. Now this whole ordeal could finally pay off for once.

"_Yes indeed!"_ Ed could practically see Truth grinning like a maniac in his mind's eye, _"As we have already established that Quidditch rules are brainless, you are going to sabotage a game by stealing the snitch before the game starts." _

"What the fuck are you talking about? That has got to be the most harebrained idea I've ever heard of, and I've had my fair share of a few of them."

"Well as your stature is very advantageous for sneaking, I thought it would be amusing to watch you try and steal something, and this is as good an object as any," Ed could feel Truth mentally shrug.

"DID YOU JUST CALL ME SHORT? I just ranted about this yesterday, asshole. Because of you Mrs Pomfrey probably thinks I'm in need of psychological treatment."

"_Regardless of your highly entertaining height issues, here are the rules,"_ Truth stated, unperturbed.

"You will steal a Snitch before the start of a game and take it back with you to Hogwarts. You must not be caught and you must do it at the Quidditch World Cup. If these conditions have been fulfilled, and only then, a body part of your choosing will be returned to its original owner."

* * *

**(1) chose purple and cream because Dumbledore took Ed to the guest quarters of Hogwarts and it wouldn't make much sense to have them in the house colours, so I chose colours that were completely off the usual spectrum.**

**(2I'm talking about Madam Pince, the librarian. Her first name is Irma and a fellow staff member wouldn't call her by her last name. **

**(3)"Oh it's you"**

**(4)"The sooner I can speak this stupid language, the better"**

**If anyone is wondering why Ed is so docile in this chapter, it is because nobody has insulted his height yet, with no one speaking his language. Also he knows acting up really won't do him any good. Besides, now he has Truth to be a sarcastic little shit to. **

**I hope you enjoyed the chapter and I will be updating more regularly from now on hopefully. If you choose to leave a review, I would be very pleased.**


End file.
